Healing a Broken Trust

TROWEL & SWORD

Healing a Broken Trust
Dealing with Sexual Abuse within the Church

Leo Douma
Convener, Synodical Study Committee on abuse

A reminder of the presence of sexual abuse in the church.

In recent times Australia's Governor-General, Dr Peter Hollingworth, has received a lot of adverse media attention. As we will all have been made aware, Dr Hollingworth was accused of covering up and wrongly dealing with cases of child sexual abuse while he was the Archbishop of Brisbane. Unfortunately, with the media's tendency to sensationalize and not always be the most accurate in its reporting, it takes a bit to sift through the facts. But one thing seems to stand out that is fair to comment on. And that is that Dr Hollingworth, being measured by today's standards, was ill-equipped to deal with matters of child sexual abuse by clergy and church workers. Dr Hollingworth admits to that in his statement on 20th February where he writes

"On reflecting on the Church's approach to child sexual abuse during my earlier years as Archbishop of Brisbane, I have come to the conclusion that we were operating within a system that should now be recognized as ill-equipped to deal with the complex issues. I acknowledge that the Church had not kept pace with community expectations and demands for greater transparency and accountability in dealing with these problems. I acknowledge I was part of that system... The structure of the Church and the governance procedures in place at the time meant there were no clear guidelines for when church leaders should be involved and how. This led to a perception that complaints of sexual abuse were covered-up and that outcomes favoured priests over victims".

It seems it would have been much more appropriate if Dr Hollingworth had simply admitted to this in his television interviews, rather than some of the unhelpful remarks he made. For the reality is that all the churches and their leaders have had to do much learning in this area of sexual abuse. In the last decade there has been a flurry of activity as all the major denominations in Australia have been at work drafting policies and procedures to deal with sexual abuse in the churches.

A comment in our own denomination's protocol, 'Healing a Broken Trust', admits that: 'For too long, it seems, the churches have been unwilling to deal openly with the reality of sexual abuse within the church, thus causing victims to suffer twice. Perhaps it can be said that God, by His providence and common grace, has led the church to change with the changing culture and changing attitudes towards this evil.'

We in the Christian Reformed Churches of Australia have also had to come to terms with this issue of sexual abuse in the church, including that of office bearers and church workers sexually abusing church members. A report to Synod 1997 in Blacktown demonstrated from its findings that '... sexual, emotional, and physical (including neglect) abuse was also occurring in our churches'.

The full report to Synod 1997 has been published under the title 'For Justice and Healing- pastoral report and guidelines for dealing with 'Abuse' in the Reformed Churches of Australia'. See advert inside the front cover.

The effects of child sexual abuse.

The secrecy and silence that too often surrounds sexual abuse means we are not always aware of the effects of sexual abuse on a child and the effects it has as she grows into a woman (predominantly sexual abuse is committed against females). The most poignant way to help us understand is to relate the testimony of a woman from the Christian Reformed Churches in North America. (See this at the end of this article)

In reading this testimony we will have been deeply moved. What strikes us is that the deepest wound is a spiritual one, a tearing at one's very soul, battering our deep trust in God as Father. For the sake of justice and healing, we must ensure that the stories of those who have been abused are heard and appropriately dealt with. We can begin to understand why it is so important for many, that the church is seen to be dealing openly with the issue of sexual abuse, and especially, child sexual abuse.

A protocol for sexual abuse by church workers.

At our denominational Synod at Launceston in 2000 our churches adopted a protocol entitled 'Healing a Broken Trust- policy and procedures in responding to complaints of sexual abuse and sexual harassment against session/ diaconate members and church workers in the Christian Reformed Churches of Australia.' Under the terms of the protocol each state or Classis appoints a Sexual Abuse Complaints Committee (SACC). The task of the SACC is to receive complaints of sexual abuse, investigate the complaint, and together with the local Session facilitate a resolution that is sensitive and compassionate to the needs of all involved. This pertains especially to cases where the person abused or harassed is an adult. Complaints of child sexual abuse will be referred to the appropriate government bodies because child sexual abuse is a crime. Once the investigations and court proceedings are finalized, the SACC can then review the situation so the church also makes its own determination anddecides what discipline is necessary.

The protocol also spells out that if a person wishes to make a complaint that they will be appointed an advocate who supports the complainant. Let's say a woman in the church alleges an elder sexually harassed her. The SACC will appoint a suitably qualified woman to be her advocate, one that the complainant can relate with and trust. The advocate gets to know the complainant, acts as her support, and listens to her story. The advocate helps the victim prepare a written statement that details what happened to her. The advocate is also there to link the woman with any needed counselling, and helps her to know where things are at in the SACC process of dealing with the complaint.

The protocol is designed to support victims of sexual abuse. It is often very difficult to speak of what has happened. It can be quite frightening and humiliating to go to Session, a room full of men, and accuse one of them, or another church worker, as having sexually abused. And it may leave many wondering if Session is able to deal with such an accusation in a calm and fair manner. So for justice to not only be done, but seen to be done, the complaint is investigated by the SACC who informs and supports the Session. The supportive work of an advocate means victims of abuse are encouraged to tell their story and know they will be heard.

The support, however, is not one sided. The accused also receives a support person, known as an adviser. Once the SACC receives a formal written statement from the complainant, it informs the accused who is presented with a SACC statement detailing the nature of the complaint. The SACC at that stage appoints an advisor for the accused who supports and advises him. The advisor arranges a meeting with the accused and representatives from SACC to discuss the complaint. If the accused confesses and admits to the complaint then the matter is referred to the Session for further action. This may involve discipline or asking SACC to assist with obtaining a mutual resolution. If the accused does not admit to the complaint then SACC will investigate further, which might include obtaining further evidence, written statements and so forth. The SACC then presents its findings and recommendations to the Session which determines if the accused is guilty or not. If the accused is found to be guilty the Session will decide on further disciplinary action, which may include public acknowledgment, apology, restitution. Where necessary, the SACC can assist Session with a pastoral plan for the church and bring healing if the complaint has disturbed the church community. If the accused is found not to be guilty the Session will ensure the accused is officially cleared, which may include a formal statement to the church or a letter to the complainant.

With such a system in place it can be seen that our denomination is doing its best to ensure justice and healing if sexual abuse occurs in our churches. There is a reduction in a possibility of a cover up because the complaint is received outside the local Session. The protocol 'Healing a Broken Trust' is over 30 pages long. It is as much a teaching document as it is in defining and detailing good procedure. For example it makes clear that to hold office in the local church implies an authority, a pastoral oversight over church members. It is a relationship of trust that can reduce the ability of the church member to withhold consent to sexual contact. When the trust is broken, it is not simply a sexual matter, but a betrayal of office, which can affect the victim psychologically as well as their faith. The protocol also points out that forgiveness

is not something to be forced from the victim. Rather it is something that must come freely from the victim, otherwise they can be further abused. If it is a child who has been sexually abused it may be years before they can truly forgive. It is often the case that the child does not fully realize what has been done, until they reach adulthood and are married and then all the ramifications of what has been done to them becomes clear.
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A Testimony

It (incest) permeates every facet like an ugly weed that won't ever go away completely no matter how you work with it. I learn new and challenging ways to deal with it as I grow. With a positive frame, I say it provides the opportunity to grow.

On the other hand I sometimes feel as if my very soul has been affected- shattered in some way. ... It is not as if I have suffered any sadism, etc., like those victims of ritual abuse. So I sometimes feel like I don't have the right to feel so strongly about the effects. But the reality is- those four years of overt sexual abuse by this man who is my natural father, who loves me, have changed my life forever...It wasn't until approximately four years ago that I finally in my heart knew that God didn't 'allow' or 'cause' this to happen, because I needed to grow up to be empathetic, kind, etc... I married when I lacked insight and judgment about myself... My husband and I had such a difficult time developing our relationship. It is better now, but continues to be a struggle at times. I believe my sexuality- my freedom, body perception, and image- have been permanently destroyed... It is extremely difficult to accept nurturing from others.

How has the abuse affected my relationship with God is a very difficult question. I'm not always clear about that... there were times back then I truly believed that no human being was ever to be trusted and only God could be trusted. However although I said only God could be trusted- I didn't even know the meaning of the word. I still don't! I get glimpses of it occasionally and I attempt to surrender myself in trust, but I can only really do that with God's help when I let myself. This is so extremely difficult and so peaceful when I have experienced it. Surrender in trust is a loaded issue for me because I was hurt so badly at the very core of my being- in my soul- when as an innocent child I naturally trusted as children do. I still sometimes question- when I die will I find out that my belief was in vain and that it was all a cruel joke? Now, I know that's not true, but sometimes...

As I am writing, I find myself distancing. Dissociating still happens...I'm scared to send this. I feel like I present to everyone a strong competent person. I am that person, but there is also the other side- where sometimes I wish I could be relieved of the battle of life as we know it and Christ would return today.

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